Ephesians 5:23-25 25 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Many times when these verses are taught; the reasoning behind it is to present the point of the husband being the head in the marriage relationship. Although this is a valid detail, there is a greater truth here and that is one of love.
The instruction given to the husband is to love their own wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. Here we find a remarkable truth set forth in God's word concerning marriage and a husband's responsibility to love his wife.
Christ's love was a love He demonstrated to and for the church. His love was sacrificial.
1 Corinthians 5:7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
Jesus' entire life was one of sacrifice. His love is the love of the Father.
Ephesians 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
What is sacrificial love? The word sacrifice means to forfeit something highly valued for the sake of one considered, to have a greater value; or claim. The surrender of something of value as a means of gaining something more desirable, something more valuable.
One of the problems with marriage today is that too many people are entering it with a sociological attitude instead of a theological one. Today many marriages are based on social conveniences and family expectations instead of biblical truths.
Today, some couples marry with the expectation of, "What can I get out of this union? How is this marriage going to benefit me?"
Many a prospective groom primarily considers their needs being met. Marriage will provide someone to keep him company. Someone to cook and clean, do his laundry and provide him with sex anytime he wants it. There will be extra income or health care. She can take care of my dog and help around the yard etc.
All of the above may be true, however, these thoughts are all wrong if based on selfishness. It's the "What can I get out relationship of this syndrome."
When you enter into marriage thinking only about yourself and not considering others you are headed for disaster. If you are considering marriage and want to do it God's way, the Bible gives us the blueprint on how to love your spouse.
Even your proposal should be based on sacrifice. It's not about what you can get out of the relationship, it's what you are willing to give.
Before you say I do make sure you are lined up with the word and willing to give up your current way of life.
Are you willing to give yourself wholly to your spouse? Are you willing to place your needs and wants behind the needs and wants of your spouse? To sacrifice your way of living and your very life for your spouse if need be? If you are not you do not know what sacrificial love is.
A Christian marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ's relationship with the church. Did Jesus place the needs of the church before His own? Did Jesus give up His will to fulfill a higher will? Did he seek to please Himself or his Father?
Consider the following verses in light of sacrifice.
ASV Philippians 2:3 doing nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself;NIV 1 Corinthians 10:24 Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.KJV Romans 15:1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
Are you willing to give up your way of life in order to gain something of more value? Are you willing to provide for your wife in everything she needs? Are you ready to protect her and provide for her? If you want to be her king, you need to treat her like a queen. Have you considered being the head by sacrificing and providing for her by leading? Are you willing to love her with a sacrificial love that Christ loved the church with?
I remember reading the story about a couple going to the court house to buy a marriage license. The sign on marriage clerk's window read, "Out to lunch. Will be back at 1 o'clock. Think it over."
Have you considered marriage from God's point of view? Are you ready to guard her and cover her? Are you willing to give up some of the things you like in order to please her? Are you willing to love her unconditionally for the rest of your life regardless of how she loves you?
Performance based love is a 50/50 model. Sacrificial love is 100% all the time. Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
Colossians 3:12-13 12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Here again we have an example of how Christ loved. He forgave.
Luke 23:33-34 33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
Are you willing to follow Christ example of forgiveness in your marriage? One of the fastest ways to destroy a marriage is unforgiveness. As husbands, we are instructed to forgive even as Christ forgave us. Did you ever consider Chris's forgiveness? How did Jesus forgive? Jesus forgave quickly, He forgave all and He forgave freely. Marriage is not a noun, it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do.
Matthew 18:21-22 21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
There is no limit on forgiveness. When you get to the place where you refuse to forgive in a marriage, your days are numbered.
ESV John 14:30 I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me,
Unforgiveness will give the devil a right to interfere with your marriage.
Husbands love you wives even as Christ loved the church. If we are going to fulfill that command, then we need to resolve to love our wives with sacrificial love.ÿ
Note: All scripture is from the King James Version unless otherwise noted. NIV indicates The New International Version, NKJV indicates the New King James Version, ASV means the American Standard Version, BBE means the Bible in Basic English, DBY means the Darby translation, NAU means the American Standard Version, 1995 Edition, and NAB means the New American Bible translation. For more information, go to the Works Cited page.