When you decide that you want to settle down and get married, you go through a process to determine who would be the best match for your interests and desires. For many people, this involves a process we call dating or perhaps it is a less formal process, but, it still concerns getting out and meeting potential matches. We go through a similar process when we look for a church.
We set out some goals that we would like a potential match to have in place. For a church, we might think of Biblical values that are critical to us and there might be other considerations such as activities or Sunday school for our children. There are so many churches to choose from, this search can be a daunting process. There are plenty of politically correct churches out there. Is it important for a church to be politically correct or biblically correct? Do we want a church that lines up with our views or do we want a church that lines up with God's views?
How do you determine all that? You need to be willing to learn the Bible or study it on your own. That's a good place to start.
150 years ago, things were different. The world population was 20 times smaller and you didn't have much in the way of spouse choice or church choice. It was common for a woman to die in child bearing, for instance, and a man wasn't going to be that picky about whom he married next. He needed somebody to take care of him and his children. You did the best with what you had. In many ways, we are in the same boat. We make a decision and do our best to make it work. Still, we have more options.
Looking at the leadership of a local church should help you make a proper decision about your church choice. Think about what kind of leader Jesus Christ was. He had strong convictions combined with great compassion and He knew when to administer both. For example, take the woman caught in adultery. In John 8:3-11, Jesus took the time to consult with His Heavenly Father when confronted with the situation. (He drew in the dirt). Then, He showed his great compassion for the woman by not stoning her, but He also told her to "go and sin no more." He wasn't just tolerating the sin.
Jesus also had a heart to serve and He led by example. In John 13 we see the account of Jesus washing his disciples' feet.
John 13:4 He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
Feet washing was a job reserved for the lowliest slave. Jesus not only washed his disciples' feet but expected them to do the same for each other:
John13:14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
A minister is responsible to provide spiritual leadership, direction, and guidance.
Acts 20:28 Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.
A minister is spiritually responsible to God for the individuals under his supervision. Jesus taught his disciples the right and wrong way of leading people. The Pharisees, however, were in it for personal aggrandizement, not for the purpose of blessing the individual believer. We don't only just look for a good minister, though. We have a job to be a good follower.
When you put yourself under the leadership of a minister, you are entering into a biblical agreement of sorts. You are putting yourself under the authority of a man of God. Jesus taught His followers to respect the teachers of the law because they were sitting in the seat of Moses - no matter the behavior of the teacher.
Matthew 23:2-4 2Saying The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat: 3All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not. 4For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
So that's the Old Testament. What about the Epistles?
Romans 13:1-3 1Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. 2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. 3For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
See also 2 Peter 2:13-15.
People in authority are God's representatives and are to be treated with dignity and respect. If you or I are not willing to do our part, then we need to find us a minister that we are willing to impart that kind of respect. Jesus was perfect, but His disciples were not. They all deserted Him at the garden. Judas betrayed Him. We cannot judge our minister by the caliber of his followers or the perfection of his children and pets. A man of God does his best and should be respected for that.
I am not going to agree with everything a man or woman says, and a minister is not always going to be right. Being right is not good enough. I can have the right doctrine or interpretation but be dead wrong because I am disrespectful or thoughtless in the way I handle another person's heart. We should be the same way with other believers, too. Another believer may not be taught what we have been taught. You know, they will probably come around eventually if we are kind and gentle. Attitude is so important.
Women's liberation has been around for years and has done many things for us ladies, but the whole focus on women's rights has made us jerks sometimes. Men need respect as much as women need love and I believe that we sometimes trample on men's self-respect with impunity. We need to dial it back and treat our men with the dignity and respect we would give to Jesus. It's not because a person deserves it, but because we want to love like our saviour loved and be an example to others.
In a nutshell then, finding a good church is like finding a good relationship and doing our part to help to make it work. If you ask God to help you, you will find the best situation to meet your need. The part you play in the equation is just as important as the love you will find in the body of believers that will bless you where you are going.
Note: All scripture is from the King James Version unless otherwise noted. NIV indicates The New International Version, NKJV indicates the New King James Version, ASV means the American Standard Version, BBE means the Bible in Basic English, DBY means the Darby translation, NAU means the American Standard Version, 1995 Edition, and NAB means the New American Bible translation. For more information, go to the Works Cited page.